I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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