I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
