no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Your cock deserves a montage
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
