yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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