this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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