Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She is in my trunk
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
