she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
