The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
