Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
