Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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