so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This is the high leading the old right now
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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