That reminds me...we need to get swords
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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