Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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