He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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