I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
