so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
