this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
