I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
