no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
