He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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