I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
