just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I smell like Dick and happiness
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
