Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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