I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
