You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need a beard to bite.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
