the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
