I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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