Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
