me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
