You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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