Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
