She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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