eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
