Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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