Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
this boner is exhausting
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
