god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
