dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
