Pappa wants mamma naked
wanna go halves on a baby?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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