Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
