please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All I want is dick and wine.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
