i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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