I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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