well I can't set my house on fire every night
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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