I wish I could teleport
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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