pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
