I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
