And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
