He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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