question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
