I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
