Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
